TV Tuesday: Recipes of a Lifetime

Angry over always having to take the mini-van, Eve plotted her revenge.

Is there any better movie than a made-for-tv movie? Yes, there is. It’s a Lifetime Channel made-for-tv movie. What do you want in your movie: suspense? hardships? sentimentality? redemption? unlikely heroines? handsome heroes?  You get all that in a Lifetime movie, plus commercial breaks featuring the latest advances in feminine hygiene products. I challenge you to find a better way to spend a rainy Saturday.

Like cooking shows on the Food Network, Lifetime makes it look easy to make a movie yourself.  Of course, it’s all in the ingredients.  If you want to put together a Lifetime Movie, here’s what you need:

  1. A mom
  2. A bad man: cheating husband, embezzling boss, date-raping football player, blackmailing co-worker, homicidal boyfriend
  3. A nice man:  sheriff, private investigator, lawyer, doctor. Should be recently divorced/widowed.
  4. A friend: waitress, cashier, secretary. Should be divorced, slightly bitter, but down to earth.
  5. A hunt or chase, preferably indoors in the mom’s and/or bad man’s big house.
  6. The promise of a new beginning.

That’s all you have to have, but you can also add a troubled teen, a step-parent, and a mistress.

The seemingly infinite number of movies that have been generated with these basic ingredients is a tribute to the creative minds at Lifetime.  Sometimes the mom’s life is perfect, then the bad man shows his true colors then the good man saves the day.  Other times, the bad man is bad, then the mom gets away with help from a friend, then the bad man finds her and the good man saves the day.

I think Jung said it best:

Evil needs to be pondered just as much as good, for good and evil are ultimately nothing but ideal extensions and abstractions of doing, and both belong to the chiaroscuro of life. In the last resort there is no good that cannot produce evil and no evil that cannot produce good.

–from Psychology and Alchemy

So kudos to you, Lifetime Channel!

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